The warden makes Earl an offer he can’t refuse: Do a “Scared Straight” presentation for school kids and get five weeks off your prison sentence. So Earl starts the audition process, but none of the prisoners seem scary enough, especially Frank, who’s more like Fred Huggins than Cool Hand Luke.
Things go from bad to worse when the warden wants to inject a “green” message into the presentation. Not exactly “Scared Straight” fodder, but Earl manages to work in something about water-conserving showers and phosphate-free soap. Oh, and if you dump a body in the woods, feel bad about littering. I'll remember that next time I'm involved in a homicide.
Meanwhile, Randy continues to be the worst prison guard on the planet. It doesn’t go well when he introduces the prisoners to a new cop-turned-child-molester prisoner, “so make him feel really welcome, ok?!”
Randy and Earl argue about who’s looking out for whom, and Earl says Randy isn’t cut out for a position of authority. Oh, yeah? Well, maybe Randy’s growing a set or something, because he stands up to Earl and ends up taking over the “Scared Straight” presentation.
Then again, maybe Earl’s right (ya think?), because when Randy takes the prisoners out for ice cream after the school presentation, Frank escapes from the back of the paddy wagon, with Steppenwolf playing in the background. Earl and Randy are given the secret mission of finding Frank and bringing him home, er...back to prison.
Pregnant Joy is two weeks past her due date and gets stuck in bed…again…with the mattress pressing against her “like a creepy uncle.” Being a surrogate mom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and she hasn’t exactly been adhering to Liberty and Ray Ray’s rigid rules. “No g-strings or canned cheese?! How the hell am I supposed to celebrate New Years?!”
And absolutely no inducing labor! But that doesn’t stop Joy from jumping on a mini-trampoline and squatting for hours on end. Screw the rules. She and Darnell are off to the hospital. And this episode will be continued next week.
