Oh snap the ladies are leaving Franklin Lakes for a place with no drama and no Danielle. They're going to AC BABY! That's right, good old Atlantic City. Bikinis, Gambling, Clubbing, you name it a Jersey girl's dream come true! Dina, Teresa and Caroline head down for a weekend of champagne and caviar, while Jacqueline stays home with her family. She felt that Dina was upset with her for not dumping Danielle so it was best that she stayed out of the way this weekend. While in AC the ladies want to do some major shopping damage. They hit up the Diamond shops, where Teresa seriously considers buying a million dollar necklace (she probably had two million dollars in cash in her purse anyway.) The next day the women want to go swimming but Teresa can't decide which of the 50 bikinis she brought she should wear. Her bubbies aren't big enough for any of them so she can't pick which is best. Finally she gets herself together and they get out to the pool. While at the pool Teresa gets a phone call from slutty Steve (Danielle's boyfriend) who asks if he can use her beach house and take another girl with him. He says he told Danielle that he's going down with his friend Tony and it doesn't matter what she thinks because they're just hanging out (or rather he's just getting his and he doesn't give a crap what she feels).
Over at Danielle's house they're STILL celebrating her birthday. She says that other than "crying alone" she hasn't celebrated her birthday in years. Danielle hasn't heard from Jacqueline all that much either. No more text messages (because she's 12 and texts with her girlfriends) which just STINKS because on top of everything she's breaking up with her man child boyfriend. She could really use a friend right now, such a shame they had to go and find out about her coke whore past. Danielle goes to meet up with Steve and holy jewel encrusted hat, he is donning some fabulous Ed Hardy gear. They meet so Danielle can break up with him. This is very hard on Danielle and Steve? Not so much on Steve.
She leaves in tears over "breaking his heart" while he leaves to bring Monique to Teresa's beach house. Danielle of course feels the need to discuss this break up with her manstress immediately with her children. She tells them that Steve will not abandon them and he will step up and be in their lives (like they even want that). Danielle's oldest daughter comes forth and says that she doesn't believe it and she knows why guys always come hang around her, "they want the goodies" and that's it. She says guys even in her grade hit on her mom and it's disturbing. You are correct my child, that is very disturbing and I'm glad you are able to recognize that now so you don't go down the same path of free BJ's that your mother went down.
At Jacqueline's household, her daughter Ashley is proving that she's no shmo after all as she aces summer school. Since Ashley is doing well she feels she deserves a car as a reward. Last I checked Ashely, kids who go to summer school don't get cars for passing. They get to eat and thank their parents for allowing them to stay in their house despite their slacker attitude. Get what I mean here? Don't be such a spoiled brat, that's what I mean. So to hold Ashley off from the car that is secretly awaiting her, Jacqueline lets her do a photo shoot that she's been wanting to do for a long time. She goes to a photographer who shot Caridee from "America's Next Top Model"--genius work he did. Ashley dresses up in some slinky black dresses, puts a fan in front of her and then starts to cry about feeling awkward like a normal 16-year-old should feel dressed up like a 45-year-old. She hates the way she looks probably because she thought she'd look like Megan Fox once the pictures were shot but all she saw were her as at 16, trying to look 25. Ashley lashes out at her mother because who else do you lash out at when you feel insecure? Jacqueline takes this personally and decides to take the car away from her permanently. Whoopsie daisy Ashley!
Dina has basically made up her mind about not working any more. She wants to spend time with her daughter Lexi and not work 24 hours a day. She also wants to go back to being the girl who would gab for hours on the phone with her girlfriends, which is really worth giving up a career for. Lexi comes home from Greece disease free – she did NOT go to any water parks – and she brings back a gift for their hairless cat, Grandma Wrinkle. it's a lady bug costume and on this disgusting, old crusty cat it is hilarious and adorable.
After returning from Atlantic City Teresa has decided that she definitely wants to get bubbies. Oh and she also must have skinned a Zebra while in the wilds of AC because she and her daughters are draped from head to toe in matching Zebra ensembles. Though her "thoughtful" husband doesn't seem to care one bit about her bubbies she still wants them so she can hang out with her friends who have big bubbies and be able to hold her own. So what can he do? Happy wife, happy life. So the next day Teresa goes to get her bubbie consultation and she brings all of the ladies with her for some reason. They all tell her to go no bigger than a full B because too big will be tacky and annoying. And whoa, Dina's bubbies are fake? I totally thought she had naturally large boobs since Caroline's are humongous and real. Who knew? Apparently she's invested over $20k in her breasts and she's totally jealous of Caroline's bubbies. Teresa goes back with her husband to get her bubbies and suddenly she went from getting a full B to a C. It seems Mr. I don't care about your bubbies size now has an opinion and he wants them bigger then a C. After getting the surgery Teresa recovers like a dying cat with giant boobs. Happy wife, happy life?
Next Week: Now THIS is the episode we've been waiting for! Teresa has a party, I guess to show off her new bubbies and her banquet hall home, and she invites everyone including Danielle. All I know is a table gets flipped and someone MAY die. Well, maybe not die, but a girl can dream.
