Picking up from where we left off on Tuesday, the now outed Andy Cohen and the NJ royalty are gathered in the same dressed up "undisclosed location" (a warehouse) near the rail road tracks, possibly in Newark? The first half got us through the tedious details, i.e. Teresa's big hair, gay slurs, the fight, Jacqueline slapping Caroline behind the scenes, murdered parents etc. This time we get down to more important stuff like who on the show was in fact a nympho, coke whore, pathological liar, stripper at some point in her life. Who could that have been I wonder?? We also discuss the children for a bit. Namely, Lexi and Danielle's girls (Whose names I realize I never learned. Was one named Christina?).
Andy wanted to know how the children were reacting to the show. Danielle says that "maybe one negative thing happened from the show." One Danielle? Really? That's it? Lexi is a little mortified from being on the show because she's in her awkward stage. She also got some slack from the viewers for saying that she's glad she doesn't have a fat, old mom. I mean really, who WANTS a fat, old mom? If you have one you deal with it, but if you can have a younger, cooler, thinner mom with clothes you can borrow why wouldn't you prefer that and be grateful for it? Shallow, I know. Please forgive. Also let's realize that Lexi is spoiled and like 13. I though, have no excuse.
Dina's wedding was also brought up. Her crazy wedding with 750 guests that was featured on VH1's My Big Fat Fabulous Wedding. She says it didn't cost $1million but I'm PRETTY sure the tally at the end of the show was over $1 million. She bought 5,000 crystal butterflies at $500 a pop for Christ sake! We also get to learn how Dina and Caroline ended up marrying brothers. Basically Tommy, Dina's husband, has always been in love with Dina according to Caroline, even though Dina's known him since she was nine-years-old when Caroline started dating her husband. But thanks to my research of reality TV watching, the Big Fat Fabulous Wedding show featured Tommy, who is, to say the least, a dirt bag. He admits to having cheated on Dina a bunch of times, like it's a silly no big deal thing and he purposely upsets her to maintain control of her. He's also very creepy looking. SUCH a gem.
A few other side notes before heading into the major theme of the episode:
1. The story of Grandma Wrinkles was pretty adorable. Dina and Lexi named their gross hairless cat after their grandma who was called Grandma Wrinkles. The real Grandma Wrinkles was an overly tanned smoker with big blue eyes who happened to look just like their ugly hairless cat.
2. Teresa totally outed a defenseless 15-year-old boy on national television. Andy asked Dina if she was flirting with that boy who interviewed to be her assistant, to which she denied and said that she's known him since he was nine. And anyway, he's gay, according to Teresa. Teresa, he's 15. Maybe he doesn't know he's gay yet. Good job humiliating him as he finishes high school.
Now for the meat of the show, Danielle. Danielle, Danielle, Danielle. What's up with the whisper voice Danielle? Danielle you hooked up with Don Johnson? Or perhaps he was one your clients... Danielle was hurt by everything that was said about her on the show so she and Jacqueline haven't spoken much since. What this all comes down to is something that happened between Dina and Danielle, before the book. Danielle basically explains that through taping this show she learned a lot about herself but she doesn't want to apologize for being who she is. And apparently who she is is a BROKEN woman. She's been molested, raped, beaten, you name it. She also, according to "the book" had an eyebrow lift. No duh. So her "campaign against Dina" spawned from her insecurities about her own messed up life. But WHAT is it that she DID to Dina! After Caroline flips out again about what she did to Dina, that we can't know, she kind of alludes to Danielle having asked someone to do something to Dina. Perhaps she asked an old hooker friend to sleep with Dina's husband? Or maybe she wanted her knocked off? Something somewhat extreme had to have happened to make Caroline get so defensive. Andy Cohen looks like he hit a gold mine of confusion. God this better come out next season!
This reunion was the most intense, sad, angry Housewives reunion I've ever seen. There was no BS at this reunion. No fake smiles or snarky comments. It was all drama and no love. I hope they keep it that way because I can't go back to catty Bethenny and Kelly fights after witnessing such insanity. This season gave me a taste and now I'm craving NJ.
