It's time again for another Housewives reunion show. We've come so far yet it went so fast! Every time I start a new series of Housewives I say to myself, "Oh God another one? There's no way this one is going to be as good." But soon after being suckered in by the glitz, glam and tackiness and I'm falling in love all over again. This series in particular held a special place in my heart since I grew up in NJ and feel like I've definitely met some women just like the ones featured on the show (albeit ones more like Teresa and Jacqueline then Danielle or Caroline, thank God). This is a life that I've experienced and in some ways wanted to be a part of and in a lot of ways wanted nothing to do with (hence moving across the river). But for all of the antics that have happened throughout the Housewives series-- the cattiness, the fame whoring, the neglect to realize that sometimes less is more, the wasteful spending--this season was the only one to give us some true housewiving. These NJ women, spoiled and ridiculous as they may be, are truly what Bravo was going for when they originally set out to make a show about wealthy housewives. They take care of their families, sometimes in a smothering manner, yes, but that is what we wanted to see--affluent, overbearing mothers. Not wealthy women who still wish they were teenagers. Women who are grown ups and who love being wives and mothers, as well as being themselves. To a degree, we got this with the NJ Housewives and on top of that we got some mafia drama as well so really what more could you ask for?
We start with part one of the reunion, which we all anticipated to be a doozey. Teresa and Jacqueline are both ready to burst from their latest pregnancies (although we now know that Jacqueline already had her baby boy after last week's finale episode) as they sit in this "undisclosed location" with Andy Cohen. Why they can't say where this is sets a mysterious tone right off the bat but those Manzo's are really good at keeping secrets so I guess we'll never find out. Since we have two parts of recaps to get through I'm going to go through this one in a different way and just list out the most pointed moments.
1. Teresa gets called out for her big hair by Andy (hilarious) "what? It's the modern big?"Dina's high school picture. Her lips are definitely real and thank god she decided to go blond. WAY better.
2. The fight at the dinner table, reliving Caroline's "confession" to Danielle--still gives me shivers! Teresa's freak out turned her stubb husband on, kinky (barf). Danielle still doesn't understand why bringing the book to the dinner was inappropriate.
3. Bubbies, bubbies, bubbies--Danielle has sick bubbies. They need to be replaced, duh. Dina is getting hers reduced, she hates looking like a stripper.
4. Dina's husband wanted no part of the show.
5. Teresa doesn't like other people’s houses because she's not sure of other peoples levels of "cleanSiness." Apparently she washes her kitchen floor every day. Freak. Jill Zarin (loves her) wrote on her blog that she thinks Teresa is over indulging her girls. She fears they'll become entitled women who can't take no for an answer. Teresa thinks that's ridiculous because she grew up that way and she's "Fabulous." But then again, you don't ever see her hearing the word no either now do you? Hmmmmm.... Oh and "Happy wife, happy life. Fughettaboutit"
6. Dina and Jacqueline used to be really good friends. They got tattoos and some "things" pierced together... ??
7. Danielle did something to Dina at one point that made things very rocky. This was the cause of everything before the book even. Some sort of damage between Jacqueline's husband and Dina was caused by Danielle. Just from the book? I don't think sooooo. This needs to be investigated.
8. Teresa doesn't understand life. She still thinks calling a stranger a gay lord isn't a big deal. Andy Cohen took offense, CASE CLOSED Teresa. Ya dumb.
9. Jacqueline once slapped Caroline. Holler!
10. Jacqueline almost gives birth, nope just a kick!
11. Danielle tries to kiss Caroline's ass by saying that women should wait hand and foot on their husbands. If men "marry outside of the Italian circle" then the overbearing Italian mothers need to teach the wives how to do womanly things like tie a tie (why this is a womanly chore I'll never get), make the beds, make the sauce, etc. Danielle, stop. You’re making no sense.
12. There are no mob ties, it's just because they live in NJ that this is an issue. And the Manzo father being "murdered" had nothing to do with the mob. Mmm hmmm. Dina wants to keep it quiet but Caroline just can't shut up about it. At 23-years-old, when her father in-law died, her husband became "the man of the family." He gave Caroline a diamond and ruby ring shaped like a birthday cake (gorgeous I'm sure) and he told her that if she doesn't want to marry him because his father was murdered then he understood. Why would she not want to marry him because his father was a victim of a senseless crime? Give me a break ladies. You're not fooling anyone.
Part two on Thursday is when the real drama goes on. We get down and dirty about the book and something else that Danielle did to the Manzo's, Dina in particular. Danielle seems to have no clue what she did but Caroline thinks differently. Bring it ON ladies!
