The second half of the RHNY reunion was MUCH more entertaining than the first half. But I definitely think I lost some hearing after sitting through that second hour of screaming and Long Island accents. The main highlights included the Kelly vs. Bethenny "you're down here, I'm up here" fight; Jill and Bethenny fighting at the charity event; Kelly running away from the Countess when she sees her at parties; Ramona and her CRAZY eyes; and Alex...silent. Bravo felt the need to give us two sessions of this mass of chaos, probably to warm us up for the sh** show that will be New Jersey, and though it was intense and insane I loved every second of it.
Let's get a few of the pettier moments out of the way before we head into the main ruckus of the event. Jill and Bethenny rehashed their fight at the charity event. Jill realized she was in the wrong and offered Bethenny a sincere apology for accusing her of acting maliciously. Ramona got to her and caused her to make up a story in her head that starred Bethenny as the evil witch. So that fight, DUNZO, Jill and Bethenny back together 4eva!
After discussing the quote Kelly gave that called Bethenny a cry baby, Bethenny admits to crying but mostly just when she's with Jill's mom because she gives THE BEST advice. Apparently Jill's mother now has her own advice column in the NY Post because of her tear fest with Bethenny. I bet Kelly was so jealous when she heard that because SHE'S the journalist in the group! And by journalist I mean moron.
There was a brief montage making fun of the ladies' drama queen husbands who secretly wish they were the stars of the show (well of course we all know Simon is the real star of the SiLex duo, damn him and his genitalia. he would have been so much more entertaining to watch at the reunion). Mario was called out as being the biggest prima donna many arguments he stirred with Jill and SiLex this season. I always thought Mario was SHOCKINGLY normal and cool to be with Ramona, but now we know truth. There's no way anyone with a shred of normality in their life could be married to Ramona, let's get real.
So the biggest fights of the night were hands down the stoning of Kelly. First Bethenny and Kelly go at it again about the initial meeting at the Brass Monkey where Kelly rambled and spewed crazy from her lips. It starts out with Kelly proclaiming that the "I'm here , you're here" comment meant that she and Bethenny are totally different. Then she went on and on about how Bethenny attacked HER at the bar and it was her tone that upset Kelly. This argument moved from "we are COMPLETELY different" to "we are SO similar, we could have been best friends" circles a million times over, Kelly's hair went from brown to blond from all of the nonsense she was speaking. Ramona kept jumping in to defend Kelly now and then but then ultimately she had to tell Kelly to "shut it" because she couldn't stand how little sense she made. I think Ramona just loves that someone else is less inarticulate than she is.
Next up was the Countess accuses Kelly of being jealous of her because she runs away from her at parties. I don't know if it's the other women who are imagining these friendships with Kelly, or if Kelly has no memory (I'm gonna put my money on option number two), but the Countess recalls Kelly saying that she knew nothing about any of the women before coming on the show. This was a lie because she had met the Countess many times before and referred to her as her friend. Kelly responds to the accusations of rudeness by saying, "what's the big deal?" to which Bethenny squeals, "because it makes you a piece of sh** is the big deal!" YES, Bethenny I love you. Someone had to say it. This girl needs to know that no one likes her HARDCORE. Whether it helps her better herself or just makes her sad, I don't care. It had to be done. Basically what it comes down to is that Kelly flirts with men and ignores women, which is a BIG no, no in female world. You do NOT flirt with one woman's boyfriend and then turn your back to the girlfriend unless you want to be shunned from all women kind. But maybe that is what she wants? Girls like that only care about attention from men and enjoy playing the victim. They like to cry to the men that the women are mean to them and they don't know why, "probably because they're jealous," they say but no, it's usually because you're a superficial attention whore. Get it Kelly?
And finally, The Countess gets hers. She had it coming, and perhaps Kelly's insanity softened the blow, but The Countess really had a stick up her butt this season and it needed to be stopped. We now know that it was probably because she was having relationship problems so she tried to act superior to everyone else to make herself feel better, "Darling NEVER put lipstick on at the table, "Darling you should never pay on a date." They go easy on her because they know that it was probably because of her problems with her husband and she admits, "I may be a Countess, but I am not perfect," and it's done with, even though she still doesn't realize that her title has nothing to do with the way she acts since she MARRIED into it. But before it can end, we get one last drop of wisdom from Princess Kill Yourself, and here it is, "there's so much talk about authenticity, accountability, I'm this, you're that..." wait for it..."who cares?" OH MY GOD! KELLY you're RIGHT! Let's not discuss the show let's discuss STUFF. FUN STUFF! You know stuff like Kelly time! When fun stuff happens when she walks into a room! Like you know... stuff! Good lord.
Well I'm glad we made it out of the reunion alive, but definitely with less brain cells needless to say. This season was full of ups and downs, highs and lows, morons and vanity, homo erotica and prima donnas and it all culminated with a refreshing therapy session ending with a 5 star vacation at Bellevue until season three starts. We'll miss you witches of the upper east side!
