Zippidy doo dah, zippidy yay! Mr. Bluebird on my shoulder…
Hello, friends! Isn’t it a glorious day? Do you feel as great as I do? I don’t know what it is, I’m just feeling all-around fabulous! Everything seems so brand new. What? You think it’s because Nekisa’s finally gone? Oh, no. That’s merely a coincidence. It can’t be because that poor girl got booted from the show. No way! But I do feel mighty fine...
Wanna know who else will be singing “Zippidy” real soon? Moms and dads, as they send their kids back-to-school for the fall. This week’s shortcut challenge is to create outstanding yet kid-friendly looks for soon-to-be first graders. The girls are adorable as they tumble into the salon and haphazardly choose their stylists. The stylists, on the other hand, aren’t looking too cute. Last week, I thought they might be styling loved ones. Apparently, those aren’t looks of joy on their faces but Shear terror – Surprise!
Nicole and Paulo seem to look at this challenge a little like last week’s dog grooming one: doing kid hair is unfamiliar, scary territory. I guess holding sharp scissors next to tiny faces attached to squirming bodies can be a bit frightening. What frightens me more is what some of these children have to say about their hair. Daniel’s client wants to look exactly like Jaclyn Smith and Daniel is only too happy to make her into an age-appropriate ‘70s sex symbol. And who does Charlie’s girl idolize? Paris Hilton (ewww)! These babies are already trained to be the next generation of self-absorbed pop tarts. And how come these six-year-olds keep spouting off about bobs and layers? Kids this young should only know “ponytails,” “pigtails,” and “bangs.” At that age, I only knew “ow, mommy” and “too tight.”
Guest judge Dean Banowetz’s expertise comes not only from his work with Ryan Seacrest and American Idol contestant Sanjaya, but also from styling the hair of his 75(!) nieces and nephews. He’s very diplomatic during judging, managing not to blatantly insult any style in front of the girls while still choosing winners and losers. His bottom two: Paulo, for creating loose waves destined to drop before recess; and Dee, for mangling a “blunt” bang. Dean’s top picks: Daniel’s Little Jaclyn and Charlie’s double ponytail. Daniel wins and his girl is thrilled. I admit, she does look very pretty with her new hairstyle for the first day of school. But, honey, I won’t forget what you said: “I like long hair and I like brown haired girls.” Huh. Seems pretty exclusionary to me – never thought I’d say this, but what about the short red-heads?
Back at the house, the stylists unwind after a day with kids by tossing back some drinks and acting like kids. They play dress up and hold an awkward fashion show honoring their fallen fellow contestants: Dee as Oshun; Paulo as Matt; Nicole as Meredith; and Charlie as Nekisa. My favorite: emcee Daniel introduces invisible Gail played by nobody. Don’t say sorry, Daniel, you know you meant it!
The elimination challenge is another surprise this week for the stylists, but not such a surprise to me. Can I call ‘em or what? Rene Fris presents the stylists with their clients – their family! It’s a sweet moment watching them all hug and cry, especially Dee and her mom who haven’t seen each other in ages. Charlie seems happy to see his sister, but I get no resemblance. She’s so suburban soccer mom normal and he… Well, I’m still convinced he was hatched from an egg. For the Family Matters Challenge, the contestants must swap family members and do what they do best. For winning the shortcut, Daniel gets first choice and power over designating the other pairings. Here are the selections:
Daniel & Nicole’s mother
Charlie & Daniel’s mother (whose just as toothy and Texan as he is)
Dee & Paulo’s cousin
Nicole & Dee’s mother
Paulo & Charlie’s sister
Dee’s mom Linda already has a short, reddish-brown ‘fro but Nicole decides to chop it down to Mia Farrow Rosemary’s Baby height and dye it a deep chocolate brown. At first, it’s a little worrisome. But on the runway, Linda looks hot! From the back! Trust me, the style softens her head and neck, making her look years younger. Nice risk. Daniel takes Nicole’s mother Sharon Down South by giving her hair a little extra fluff, but he could definitely stand to add more brightness to the dirty blonde. And Dee pines silently for Nekisa by adding red highlights to Paulo’s cousin Carla’s jet-black hair.
Charlie warms up Daniel’s mother Sandra’s color and gives her a shorter ‘do a la Sharon Stone. I like it but I don’t understand why he tries so hard to cover her ears with large pieces of hair. I feel kind of insulted. What’s wrong with Dumbos? Gorgeous Will Smith has some big ‘uns. And another unnamed sexy super diva I know has a nice pair of jug handles.
All I can say about Paulo’s cut is what the…? Am I hearing things? Does he describe it as “beautiful, classy, and pretty”? Somebody pass me a Webster’s. He adds some soft highlights that impress the judges due to his restraint, but the piecey chunks sticking out all over the place are plain ugly. Guest judge David Babaii thinks Charlie’s sister Kelly looks like a “pineapple.” And that’s being nice.
Top three stylists: Dee, Charlie, and Daniel. Winner: Charlie again rises to the top to win his third elimination challenge.
Bottom two: Nicole and Paulo. Sorry, Paulo, this is your final cut.
Next Week: The stylists are on a photo shoot and the winner gets a place in the upcoming finale.
