Blah, Blah, Blah – that’s what I hear when Probst gives the recap. Who gives a crap? Everyone who watches this show never ever misses a show. What’s the point in recapping?
At Fang, it’s business as usual. Krystal and her big ole feet trip over the rice and spill a bunch. She turns herself into a martyr and refuses to eat breakfast, while Matty is realizing he is running out of energy and hope. Hell, if I were on the Fang tribe, I don’t think I’d have any hope either – and I’m freaking Mary Poppins most of the time. But, come on people, this is freaking Survivor! Pick it out of the freaking dirt!
Over at Kota Corinne, Charlie and Marcus are turning into a little clique, and Dan doesn’t like it. Dan, I totally love you, but come on, if you want to make friends, the worst way to do it is to confront people about excluding you from their group. Telling them you really, really, really want to be part of the group is just setting you up for spit in your food, or other weird little tricks. You just look weak man!
Reward is a sweet picnic after a Helicopter ride over the area. They play some little game with balls that need to stay up in the air. Kota has to sit two out – and the ladies say they’ll sit out – that’s Corrine and Charlie, not Corrine and Susie as I’m sure you were assuming. Kota scores first.
Round two, and Sugar is beyond worthless. Kota scores again. My man Dan blocks Ace’s shot and Sugar drops the ball – literally. Kota wins, Sugar goes to Exile, and I swear this is the same damn game every week.
Kota gets to eat lunch on a the top of a huge cliff, and it is breathtakingly gorgeous. Some fantastic camerawork really shows off the landscape. In the midst of the picnic, an unexpected deliveryman shows up out of the tall grass and hands them a stack of letters. The Nutty Professor starts blubbering and wailing like a woman. Randy doesn’t have any letters, and when I commented on this my husband said, “I don’t think cats can write letters.” I almost peed my pants. My husband is freaking hilarious.
Fang is bitching and moaning about losing, and Matty wants to take out Sugar. He tells Ace that he doesn’t have to vote for her, but everyone else is. Ace begs for her safety, and meanwhile Ken and Krystal are scheming to backdoor Ace.
Time for Immunity, and Kota has to return the idol. I’m not sure why, ‘cause it’s kind of a given they’ll win. Oops, spoke too soon. Both tribes are headed to Tribal, and there is ONE Immunity Necklace up for grabs.
The challenge consists of two people on a log roll. It isn’t tribe against tribe – purely individual. They weed out the weaker people, or maybe the ones who aren’t worried about their future. Kenny versus Sugar is a real treat – Sugar actually wins something. Bob’s lanky ass is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen in black underwear before. Holy Crap, seriously dude, you are freaking Ichabod Crane reincarnated.
It comes down to, hang on to your hat, Sugar, Marcus and Ace. Ace intuitively feels that he must win this challenge, and man, I think he’s right. I like Ace, and it isn’t just ‘cause I like bald guys. Marcus wins, and Charlie literally has a piece of wood in his pants. Marcus gets the chance to give Immunity to someone from Fang. Surprisingly, he gives it to Sugar – but when he explains it makes sense. He does it in the hopes that one of the Fang power players would be taken out. Now that is a logical move.
My hilarious husband wants the world to know he is calling it for Sugar to win the whole damn thing. He’s usually wrong, but he could have it this time…
Ace actually asks Sugar for one of her Immunity Idols, because he feels so unsafe. She’s supposedly voting with Krystal and Ken, so who knows what is going on. Tribal is pretty typical – everyone argues, Sugar keeps her Immunity, and someone is about to head out.
Ace looks like he knows something is going down, and I just want to give him a hug. He’s a snake, but he’s a bald snake! Wow, that didn’t sound right. Anyway, votes are tied, when Probst does his dramatic pause, and then announces that Ace is the next one to leave. Matty looks freaking nervous as they head off.
But, that’s not all folks. Time for Kota to do some maneuvering. The clique decides to go after my man Dan, and I really, really hate the whole group when they change their minds because that crazy bitch Corrine decides she hates Susie. Not that I want Dan to go, but they are just so like the Mean Girls it’s ridiculous. Corinne assumes that if she is pissed, her group is going to be pissed also. This is not really the case – Marcus would rather get rid of Dan because he is threatened by his hotness. I admit Marcus is hot in his own right, but he’s basically an ass and extremely full of himself. I love Dan and the way he just wears his heart on his sleeve. He’s a genuine person, and that is awesome.
Susie calls Corrine out for not doing much of anything, and Dan just sits there with his lips sealed. Check out that awesome beard. Dan’s got some sweet mountain man going on, and Marcus is probably jealous of that too.
Votes are cast, and tallied – Damn. I can’t bring myself to write it, so I’ll just say that Susie is still part of the tribe.
