One thing that drives me freaking crazy about Survivor is the ten minute recap. This is the 17th (seriously – the 17th) go-round, and is there any chance that they are still bringing in new viewers? At this point, either you’ve been watching every season since #1, you gave up after All-Stars, or you refused to watch it from the beginning. There are no new Survivor fans.
Freaks like me watch every week, religiously, refusing social engagements and isolating yourself from your friends for this stupid reality show, and the recap just eats up our hour of enjoyment! So, I’m skipping it. Read last week’s recap if you missed it.
We start this episode with Fang (the biggest losers) and Randy is pointing out to the tribe that they are on Survivor, and they probably don’t need to eat three meals a day. Everyone else is cool with that except the former homeless dude – GC. He gets all loopy about the fact that he may not get to eat as much as he needs. Randy identifies GC as the cancer of the tribe, and he is right on. GC confronts Randy about being the “leader”, and I am amazed at the way this tribe focuses on having a leader. Never in the history of this show has a tribe focused so much on a leader, or the lack thereof. It’s like they’re having leadership constipation – sometimes you just have to sit back and let it happen, right?
The reward challenge is interesting – wrapping your body around a pole, while two members of the opposing tribe rip you off of said pole and drag you through the sand across a black line. After an epic battle, the enormous African-American woman, Crystal pretty much single-handedly won the competition for the pathetic Fang. They send Sugar to Exile, and head back to camp with their blankets and pillows.
Sugar seems like she’s not gonna do much at Exile, and I half expect her to choose the limp gourd for some comfort. I am blown away, however, when she braves the jungle and gets that idol all for her own. I way underestimated her.
Kota starts maneuvering, and the Onion Alliance offers Bob a deal to vote with them. I’m pretty sure he’s going to do it, but I officially hate Corinne. People who act genuine to gain the trust of nice people really piss me off.
The Immunity Challenge is a giant Slip and Slide into croc-infested water (yeah, probably not). The Survivors slide down and retrieve tiles that help them decipher the code to open a chest. When the chest is open, they use the axe to raise their flag. Who is gonna win, the physics teacher, or the gamer? My money is on the gamer…
Oh, and the Survivors got some swimsuits, so thank goodness, the nasty ole undies are retired. Holy Crap – Ken did it! That’s the gamer for those of you who still don’t know the names.
That means Kota just lost their first Immunity – and Fang doesn’t have to be grilled by Probst. The only bad thing about Kota winning is that I’ve seen less than 5 minutes of Dan the Man all night!
No one even suspects that Sugar has Immunity, but she does reveal it to her boy Ace. Unfortunately, these dopes are planning on getting rid of Paloma, someone who could be on their side. Paloma says that she is strategically like a wild animal – she just sits back and waits to pounce. Right…
Paloma tries to get Corinne to vote her way, and I think it’s going to work. Seems like Ace is going, because Corrine thinks he’s the real threat.
In Tribal, everyone rips on Ace’s “big” personality, and that they as a tribe don’t like him (except Sugar of course). I’m really not going to like this tribe after that. I like Ace and Sugar, and I really don’t like Corinne.
Votes are tallied - Paloma – IIIII, Ace – II – YES! Baldy stays for another week at least – hopefully enough to repair relationships.
