It turns out that the poptastically scored home-pregnancy suspense that capped off the premiere was all for nothing, and Heidi’s stomach troubles really were psychosomatic. Heidi, just like the plot-hungry editors, took advantage of the whole situation to get a reaction out of Spencer whom she met in some sketchy back alley. Spencer got all self-defensive when he finally found out that Heidi wasn’t pregnant, but assured her that he isn’t interested in crazy Audrina (his words, not mine, I say the girl is completely normal). Apparently Spencer would agree with me (only if Heidi isn’t in the room), though he would go further and say that Audrina is the most amazing girl he knows (these words, of course, were spoken to Audrina after the conversation with Heidi). Audrina rejected his invitation to dinner, citing some weirdness with Heidi, and simultaneously keeping up a compassionate reputation with the camera (and while manning the phones at Epic Records). That girl knows how to multi-task.
Increasingly omnipresent Lisa Love ought to be added to the theme song this season. Her devilishly fun cameos are becoming more and more numerous, and each time we see her, it seems the stakes are getting higher. Whitney, due to educational commitments, wasn’t going to be able to get to the fashion show on time, and so Lisa, whose lingering trust issues with Lauren were made pretty obvious, was forced to grant her all responsibilities. The responsibilities turned out to be digging out the wax of a magic candle (no joke) and putting some flowers on an umbrella, but Lauren managed to make quite the impression on super fastidious Ashley Paige (who milked the whole product-placement-name-recognition as she barked orders at Lauren), and word of her exemplary performance got back to a pleased Lisa Love.
Ashley Paige wasn’t the only one to flood the camera with tacky name-dropping. Heidi, giving Lauren’s number to Spencer’s friend, invoked her matchmaking powers. (She certainly did not fail to mention that this “friend” is Brody Jenner.) The two met for dinner and seemed to instantly hit it off. Their possibly scripted conversation had the synthetic feel of a Carrie Bradshaw date. Brody mused for many minutes on the beautiful naturalness of Lauren’s skewed smile. It looked like she ate up more of his charm than the actual meal.
Apparently Brody has a thing for ‘Laguna’ alums. (Friend-of-a-friend Talan introduced him to Kristin Cavallari in September of 2005 and the two had a relationship for six months.) I’m sure the producers were dying to have Kristin come back to re-create the triangle of all triangles (see: LC-Stephen-Kristin, ‘Laguna Beach’ Seasons One and Two), which would’ve worked even better for them with a famous-but-not-really-at-all celebrity like Brody. Now that’s a Teen Vogue cover shot waiting to happen.
