Welcome to today’s episode of You Kids Get Off My Lawn!. In today’s very special episode, we have the announcer for the Arizona Diamondbacks baseball team. Why is he so upset? Because his team is going to finish the season 12 games out of first place? No, that would be silly. The game he’s announcing is probably terrible, so instead of focusing on that, he decides to go off on women taking selfies during the game.
It’s actually pretty funny to see so many women taking selfies in one frame. We’re not going to lie about that, but the thing that’s even funnier is how upset the announcer gets over the issue. He seems legitimately angry. So what if they have taken 300 pictures of themselves today? Is that really something to get worked up about? You know what’s even sadder than a bunch of women repeatedly taking pictures of themselves? Keeping the camera on a bunch of women taking selfies while complaining about it. Is there a name for a taking a picture of somebody taking a picture of herself?
Maybe he’s just upset that the women aren’t paying attention to the baseball game. If that’s the case, we’re going to point out a couple of things. 1. Neither is he. 2. It’s the Diamondbacks. They’ve had a losing season, and the game probably wasn’t worth watching anyway.
Then he takes it all one step too far and blames “parenting in 2015.” At this point, it seems necessary to point something else out. At least one of the women in the frame is wearing an Alpha Chi t-shirt. This appears to be a sorority house that went to a baseball game together. If that’s the case, these women are not children, and they are almost certainly adults, legally speaking. They don’t need their parents. They’re allowed out of the house on their own and everything. They’re also adults who made it into college. Can we give them a little bit of credit that maybe they’re just out having a good time at a baseball game in the way that they would like to do that? Seriously dude, chill out, these women are doing just fine.
We’ve all become transfixed by our phones. Why shouldn’t we be? The complete sum of human knowledge is available at all times in a computer that fits in your pocket. How are you not amazed by that, play-by-play guy? We live in the future. Besides you know that guy uses his phone all the time to check his fantasy team...and...other things sports people do, I don’t know.
