Just when it looked like former Nickelodeon star Amanda Bynes’ life might be heading in entirely positive and non-bizarre directions following the official end of her conservatorship earlier this year, the sorta-former TV actress and sorta-current rapper shared some extremely unexpected accusations on Instagram about her fiancé Paul Michael. The after-midnight drama got so hectic that Michael, who was reportedly tossed out of the home the couple shares, called the cops on Bynes. It doesn’t seem like any charges were filed, however, considering Bynes delivered her own update on the situation with a “correction” video that reneged on her previous claims. It’s quite a roller coaster ride, mostly in the sense that it goes all over the place and essentially ends up right back in the same spot.
Let’s start off at the beginning, since things advanced fairly rapidly once they initially got weird. Following a couple of weeks of shared musical releases, Amanda Bynes and Paul Michael were seemingly at odds early Thursday morning, with Bynes posting her accusation-laden video on Instagram Stories, per TMZ. While the two videos are no longer live, you can read what she had to say below, which includes a truly baffling bit about a salmon.
Paul told me that he stopped taking his medications. I looked at his phone, and he was looking at mom and son porn. He vandalized his mom’s home. He broke all of her pictures and put salmon under her bed. His behavior’s alarming, and I’m afraid of what he’ll do. . . . I forgot to mention. I found Paul’s stash of crack cocaine. He’s been using for the past six months. He needs serious help. I kicked him out of my house.
The cadence that Amanda Bynes puts forth when saying everything in the video is just as curious as everything she actually says in it. Okay, may not quite as curious as saying her fiancé was watching incest porn, presumably after smashing up his mom’s house and throwing a fish under her bed.
The LAPD reportedly arrived at the couple’s home around 2:30 a.m., at which point Paul Michael explained that they’d been in the midst of a verbal battle, and claimed Amanda Bynes was taking his Adderall prescription and had lost control. Even though she technically booted him out of the house, he stuck around to give his report to the cops, perhaps also in an attempt to squash the issues without anyone going to jail. He also took to Instagram to share his thoughts on the matter, which was essentially that he didn’t know “what the fuck she’s talking about” regarding her odd accusations.
After seemingly all was said and done, Amanda Bynes issued her follow-up video, which was delivered in a subdued and matter-of-fact manner that did not at all match up with her prior state of rabid sus. Here’s how she explained things:
Correction: Paul looked up MILFs; moms and sons just popped up. Also, I went to CVS, bought a drug test, and Paul tested clean. Paul’s clean. . . . Also, I had something in my teeth in the last video.
Had the cops not apparently been involved, it wouldn’t be so hard to believe that this was just a weird social media skit playing out in real time. Her misguided assumption about his porn tastes almost turns her “MILFs” reveal into a punchline. Especially after her second-video follow-up about having something in her teeth.
In any case, the most important thing to acknowledge here is that seemingly nobody in that relationship is currently smoking crack cocaine, and both Amanda Bynes and Paul Michael are hopefully out of harm’s way. One can only hope this situation doesn’t blossom into anything that impedes on Bynes’ goals of continuing her education and working on a fragrance line. And now the wait begins for their third rap collabs.
