As A Longtime Seinfeld Fan, I'm Astounded By How Many Businesses Jerry And The Gang Got Shut Down

Having watched every episode of Seinfeld dozens of times, it is not at all lost on me that Jerry, George, Elaine, and Kramer are not good people. They have positive qualities, but they are selfish and petty individuals who have a knack for stirring up conflict and chaos. They haven’t ruined as many lives as the gang from It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, but during recent reflection, it occurred to me that their actions directly resulted in the shuttering of multiple businesses.

This is a common occurrence during all nine seasons of one of the greatest sitcoms of all time, and I’ve put together this feature to highlight what is perhaps one of the more underrated and hilarious elements of the Seinfeld legacy. It’s something to think about before the next time you stream the show with your Netflix subscription or pop in a disc from the amazing new 4K UHD set that was released in December.

The Dream Cafe

In Jerry’s defense, Babu Bhatt’s Dream Café wasn’t exactly doing gangbusters before he got involved. After all, the reason the comedian became so fascinated with it in the first place was the fact that he never saw anybody go in there. That being said, it is Jerry’s suggestion have the restaurant pivot to a menu with all Pakistani food in Season 3’s “The Café”, and when that expensive transition ends up being a failure, the business collapses.

Frozen Yogurt (Non-Fat Frozen Yogurt Place)

When characters cause businesses to get shut down on Seinfeld, it’s typically the result of malice or ignorance, but the frozen yogurt place from Season 5’s “The Non-Fat Yogurt” (simply called “Frozen Yogurt” on its signage) is a special case: it’s the result of positive action that is intended to benefit the local community. Despite what the proprietor claims, the tasty deserts served by the shingle have a substantial fat content, and that lie being exposed by Jerry and Elaine results in all of its customers never going back.

Pendant Publishing

Elaine is generally smarter and more successful than her friends, resulting in better decisions, but she gets really screwed by the universe in Season 5’s “The Opposite,” as George’s good fortune becomes her bad fortune. While the stocky, dim-witted bald man starts a new relationship and gets a job with the New York Yankees, Elaine accidentally causes the downfall of Pendant Publishing. Stuffing her mouth with Jujyfruits means that she can’t tell an ill Mr. Lippman that he left his handkerchief on her desk, and when he doesn’t shake the hand of the Japanese businessman who is set to bail the company out, the deal entirely falls apart.

Hot Soup (The Soup Nazi’s Soup Restaurant)

Elaine getting Pendant Publishing shut down is definitely an accident, but the same cannot be said about Hot Soup – the restaurant that is the main subject of Season 7’s “The Soup Nazi.” While she certainly appreciates the culinary talents of Yev Kassem, she is unable to abide by his extreme strictness and rudeness, and so she takes action. With nothing more than revenge on her mind, she makes plans to publish all of Hot Soup’s recipes, and the Soup Nazi immediately decides to close up shop and move to Argentina.

Jimmy’s Shoe Business

In Season 6’s “The Jimmy,” the titular character makes his money as private seller of plyometric athletic shoes, but everything goes to hell when he slips on a pool of drool and ends up breaking his leg. Jimmy entirely blames Kramer (the source of the drool) for the incident, and punches the hipster doofus in the face when they run into each other at a benefit, but not to be left out of the finger pointing is George, who partners with Jimmy and is unable to win over potential investors due to his lacking abilities physically.

Play Now

As noted, there are incidents on Seinfeld where characters want certain businesses to be shut down, but in the case of George and Play Now, that is definitely not so. The bespectacled weasel is at war with the playground equipment outfit in Season 9’s “The Voice,” but he wants the company to thrive because he has a one-year contract that they legally have to honor. Unfortunately for George, that scheme falls apart when Kramer and his intern throw a ball of oil out of one of the company’s windows as a means of testing a tanker bladder system they’ve designed. The end result: Play Now gets sued into oblivion.

Magic Pan Crepes

It’s not a great business model when you insist that all of your restaurant’s food be prepared by people who are in the owner’s family, so I don’t know how long Magic Pan was ever going to last, but Jerry doesn’t do anything to help the franchise in Season 8’s “The English Patient.” First, his macho head games (real or imagined) put Izzy Mandelbaum and his family in the hospital, and then he makes the mistake of suggesting Kramer’s Dominican cigar rollers take over the crepes-production operation – which results in diners getting severely burned by squirting hot fruit.

The Mom And Pop Store

I’ll give Kramer a fair bit of credit in this case: in Season 6’s “The Mom & Pop Store,” he comes upon a struggling independent retailer run by two elderly people and makes legitimate efforts to try and improve things for them. He gets them some new business when he brings in all of Jerry’s shoes to be repaired/cleaned, and he is only trying to help when he points out a bunch of exposed wires in the ceiling that could be a potential fire hazard. It’s just bad luck that the repairs end up being a terrible mix of necessary and too expensive, and the store has to close as a result.

Leapin' Larry’s Electronics

Most of the companies on this list close down because of actions Seinfeld characters take to compromise their business, but Leaping Larry’s Electronics from Season 7’s “The Secret Code” is unique. There is no financial ruin; the place simply burns to the ground. Blame can be shared by both Jerry and Kramer: the former starts the inferno when he accidentally spills a can of paint thinner on some exposed wires, and the latter prevents the building from getting saved when he tries to live out his dream of steering the rear end of a fire engine deployed to stop the blaze.

Kenny Rogers’ Roasters

Things don’t get so bad in Season 8’s “The Chicken Roaster” that the entire Kenny Rogers Roasters chain gets shut down, but Jerry’s actions do lead to the shuttering of one of the franchise’s locations. It’s actually a case of backfiring intentions, as Jerry wants the place to stay open after his former college buddy becomes the manager, but the board of health immediately takes action when Jerry shakes out a rat hat after coming in from the rain and covers the place in nutria fur.

Frank Costanza’s Computer Business

Operating out of a garage in Queens, Frank Costanza’s business selling computers in Season 9’s “The Serenity Now” was never going to properly compete with major retailers, but George does his part to hasten the venture’s demise. Lloyd Braun shoulders some of the blame here, as all of his sales are 100 percent imagined, but George straight up commits fraud by buying computers himself and faking purchases.

This is the kind of thing that I’ll now always think about every time I watch Seinfeld, which is honestly super often. I suppose I’ll wonder why it is that none of the businesses tried to file lawsuits against Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine – but that just adds more queries to the list of questions that the show never answers.