'John Was The First To Go': Bill Murray Openly Wept During SNL's 50th, And The Moments He Called Out Were Emotional For Me Too
Murray reveals who broke him during the big weekend.

Saturday Night Live's abundance of sketches and comedy stars has long fueled debates about best seasons and which stars are missed the most. Fans were reminded of those iconic late performers while watching cast members both past and present take part in the SNL50 anniversary special and its mostly enjoyable companion special The Homecoming Concert. Actor and comedian Bill Murray was obviously involved, and has since revealed how emotional the special made him, and those same moments hit me in similar ways.
Murray joined Sway In The Morning to talk about his now-in-theaters dark comedy Riff Raff, but of course the living legend host Sway Calloway asked about the big Saturday Night Live anniversary event. Perhaps surprisingly, the Groundhog Day star revealed the day was highly emotional, and that he broke down multiple times. But it's no surprise to learn that a why Gilda Radner clip was involving with some of those tears. In his words:
I was watching, and there's a lot of video and history that they're showing. And I didn't see it coming, but there was Gilda [Radner] up there dancing with Steve Martin. . . . I remember being there watching them rehearse that dance number for days and days and days and days. I was crazy about Gilda, and I sort of came apart. I was sitting there in the dressing room with a bunch of people and I couldn't stop it.
Leave it to one of the original “Not Ready For Prime Time Players” to wreck one of the biggest stars SNL ever produced. And for good cause, seeing as how Murray and Radner worked together for Seasons 2-4 during his three years in the cast. She sadly passed away at 42 from ovarian cancer a decade after his exit, in 1989.
Murray’s career has obviously been monumental post his Studio 8H days, taking him all over the world and working with essentially all of Hollywood. Regardless of all the success and weirdo moments he's brought to the world, there’s a true magic attached to most of SNL's peers after they leave the show, and especially after they leave this mortal coil entirely. Doubly so for those who were attached to the historic sketch show’s earliest years.
Speaking of, the Lost in Translation actor then went on to mention another fallen comedy soldier, John Belushi, who appeared several times in archival footage. But it's the oddly prophetic graveyard-set short that had Murray missing his friend and even just talking about it had him on the verge of weeping all over again. He stated:
And then there's the film that Tom Schiller made with [John] Belushi visiting the Saturday Night Live graveyard and seeing all his compatriots dead. . . . John was the first to go. So to see that, and to see him — see, I could go [cry] now, just thinking about it — to see that sort of foreshadowing that Schiller sort of intuited to make that, and to miss him.
It’s not the first time Murray has recalled Belushi's magnetism, and the Blues Brothers vet continues to be missed by many, with his influence still going strong both among new SNL generations and comedic actors in general. And the dark humor that Schiller and the Animal House alum leaned into was just a small taste (or a better word) of how legendary Belushi remains.
And, when thinking about it, it absolutely makes sense for Murray to have that deep pang arise rewatching the short. It makes me miss both Belushi and Radner all the more knowing how much a close personal friend does while making me cherish all my favorite alums and current cast members more.
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It’s sweet hearing Murray remembering and cherishing his friends post his tears during the 50th Saturday Night Live anniversary special. The whole thing makes me want to jump back into the old seasons and remember them more, I’ll just have to find a box of tissues first.
Watch all the classics and your favorite Studio 8H cast members with a Peacock subscription. SNL continues Season 50 serving up great upcoming hosts and musical guests, with Lady Gaga serving as both this week. Tune in on the titular night at 11:30 p.m. EST.
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