There have been some pretty famous Shondalogues to make their way to the Grey’s Anatomy scripts in its 21 seasons — including some great ones on the episodes currently airing on the 2025 TV schedule — but none has stuck in the zeitgeist quite like Season 2’s “Pick me, choose me, love me” scene. Ellen Pompeo opened up about Meredith’s infamous quote, and she did not hold back her disdain for it.
Back in 2005’s “Bring the Pain” (one of Grey’s Anatomy’s best episodes, which can all be streamed with a Netflix subscription), Meredith Grey found herself begging Patrick Dempsey to choose her over his wife Addison when the two were giving their marriage another try. In an interview on Call Her Daddy, Alex Cooper asked Ellen Pompeo what advice she’d give Meredith today in that scenario, to which Pompeo quickly replied:
Girl! Bye.
Ellen Pompeo has had no qualms talking about how horrified she was by that iconic scene, and she went on to tell the host:
There was a lot of stuff that I didn't wanna do at the time. I didn't wanna say, ‘Pick me, choose me, love me.’ And to Shonda’s credit, she knew that was gonna pop. I was like, ‘Why would I do this? Why would I beg, why would I?’ And you know, you have to just suck it up and do it. And it ended up being, you know, the biggest thing ever, the most iconic things ever. So I'm not always the best judge of, you know, what's gonna [work]. It’s not like I said it wasn’t gonna be good. I was just like, ‘I don’t wanna do that.’
Love it or hate it, that Meredith Grey speech has become one of the most quotable lines from the whole series, despite the negative connotation today of being a “pick me girl.” Maybe we call it a win/win situation — both for Grey’s Anatomy to live in infamy and for generations of girls who know better than to beg for someone’s love.
Ellen Pompeo got to take that moment back a bit, too, in Season 19’s “I’ll Follow the Sun.” It was Meredith’s farewell episode as a series regular, and while some fans were bothered by the underwhelming goodbye, I loved its callback to that classic moment with Derek. When arguing with her current love, Scott Speedman’s Nick Marsh, in regards to whether or not he would relocate yet again to be with her in Boston, Meredith told him:
I want you in my life if you want to be in my life. But if I have to choose, I’m going to pick me, I pick my kids, and I pick what’s best for us. And I am not going to beg you to love me.
Ellen Pompeo may have had to “suck it up” and do the line Shonda Rhimes knew would be a hit with the audience, but she got to have her moment in the end. Not that Season 19 was the end. Meredith Grey has continued to recur in several episodes in Seasons 20 and 21, as well as provide the narration that bookends each episode and serve as an executive producer.
Look for her in new episodes, airing at 10 p.m. ET Thursdays on ABC and streaming with a Hulu subscription, where you can also find Ellen Pompeo’s new series, Good American Family.
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