When Bill Hader returned to host Saturday Night Live for a second time, in his monologue, he joked that he never realized “that first commercial after the monologue, the ones we’re in… those are fake.” All kidding aside, for the most part, we are relieved that the items featured in the long-running sketch comedy series’ commercial parodies are not real, and all it should take to understand why is a quick look at this collection of our picks for the most hilarious fake SNL products we have seen over the years.
The Super Bass-O-Matic '76
“Super Bass-O-Matic ’76” is a beloved sketch written by Dan Aykroyd, who revealed to The Food Channel that the faux infomercial in which the Not Ready For Primetime Player liquidates a whole fish, bones and all, was inspired by his aunt’s own methods for preparing such a meal. Outside of the shocking technique itself and its unappetizing results, the truly funniest thing about this product is, arguably, that it is no different from a common blender.
Happy Fun Ball
With a name like "Happy Fun Ball," one would assume that this shiny, red ball is a perfectly wholesome toy for all ages. However, once this faux ad reaches its warning disclaimer, it becomes clear that no soul should ever go near this cursed thing.
Bag O'Glass
On a holiday edition of a program called Consumer Probe, the host (played by longtime Five-Timers Club member Candice Bergen) is reviewing products from Mainway Toys’ with shady company president, Irwin Mainway (Dan Aykroyd). The clearly inappropriate and potentially hazardous toys include a doll that ejects a sharp blade from its arms and a teddy bear that doubles as a chainsaw, but the (darkly) funniest item has to be “Bag O’Glass,” which is exactly what it sounds like it is.
Colon Blow
Late, legendary ‘90s SNL cast member Phil Hartman plays a man introduced to a cereal aptly named Colon Blow, as it contains 30,000 times the amount of fiber you would get from an average bowl of cereal. Just when he thinks the literal pyramid of cereal bowls he is balancing on could not get higher, the announcer tells him about Super Colon Blow, which equates to two-and-a-half-million bowls of Hartman’s preferred brand in fiber content.
Almost Pizza
Bill Hader plays a man who assumes his wife (played by Kristen Wiig) has baked a pizza for dinner, but grows increasingly concerned when she tells him it is not really pizza, but “Almost Pizza.” It is never revealed what the product actually is, but it is most definitely not edible, appears to have a mind of its own, and was distributed by Pfizer.
Toilet Death Ejector
In one of John Mulaney’s best SNL sketches (not counting his musical skits), he points out how embarrassing it must be when elderly people die on the toilet before introducing a solution: the Toilet Death Ejector. Just push a button on the side right as your final moment approaches and it will (hopefully) launch you right into bed before dropping an acclaimed book near you for a more dignified place to be found by a loved one.
Mom Jeans
It’s funny how a certain style of a certain article of clothing can be so closely associated with a certain demographic, such as high-waisted jeans with mothers. However, as writer and star Tina Fey revealed to Jess Cage on Sirius XM, she wasn’t even a mother when she came up with the “Mom Jeans” sketch, which was inspired by a “really unfortunate pair of jeans” she bought at J. Crew on Studio 8H’s writing night.
Wells For Boys
While some young boys like to play catch with their friends or go on bike rides, others may want to spend their days contemplating their inner thoughts and feelings, which is what this Well playset is for. The commercial, starring Academy Award winner Emma Stone as the central boy’s mother, also highlights more from Fisher Price’s Sensitive Boys line, including a balcony for making announcements and a broken mirror for reflecting on their inner complexities.
CNN Pregnancy Test
CNN is devoted to keeping you constantly updated about a certain developing topic even when they do not have any new information to provide. SNL poked fun at this habit with a faux ad for a digital pregnancy test developed by the cable news channel that takes a really long time to give hopeful parents their results but keeps them updated on its lack of an answer all the way through.
Nelson's Baby Toupees
A lack of hair is nothing that an infant should be worried about, but according to this fake ad from SNL’s 31st season, it is just as concerning as male pattern baldness. Thus, Nelson’s Baby Toupees have been developed to help babies achieve the confidence they are not old enough to acknowledge by giving them the hair they won’t need for years.
Duolingo For Talking To Children
In his faux ad, Academy Award nominee and Twilight movies star Kristen Stewart plays a woman who embarrasses herself trying to speak to a child. This leads her to turn to an edition of language learning software Duolingo specifically designed to help non-parents relate to their younger peers.
Undercover Office Potty
For anyone who ever felt they lost valuable time at work due to restroom breaks, the Undercover Office Potty offers a solution to discreetly relieve yourself without ever leaving your desk. However, the smell emitting from the portable toilet disguised as a lamp turns out to be not so subtle, especially when you crowd your desk with them like Beck Bennett’s office worker in this faux ad.
GE Big Boy Home Appliances
Kitchen appliances and cleaning materials are not typically marketed toward men, but, to keep up with changing times, General Electric intends to change that in this sketch starring Jason Momoa and his smoldering eyes. The company’s line of “Big Boy” Home Appliances includes a dishwasher with a 70-pound steel door, a six-foot-tall washing machine, and a vacuum you can ride like a lawnmower.
Brownie Husband
Tina Fey stars in this ad for a new product from Duncan Hines created for single women looking for more than just a nice evening dessert. With Brownie Husband, in 90 seconds, you can have the man of your heart (and your stomach) desires.
Santi-Wrap
This bit from SNL’s second season takes the concept of using toilet seat covers over tissue for sanitary protection and applies it to sitting on a department store Santa’s lap. Laraine Newman plays a woman who actually starts placing tissues on the lap of John Belushi’s boozy Santa before her husband (played by Dan Aykroyd) tells her she should use “Santi-Wrap” instead.
24-Hour Energy For Dating Actresses
At a time when people began taking 5-Hour Energy Shots to just make it through a workday, SNL introduced the idea of a shot that gives the consumer a full 24 hours. However, the faux ad that accompanies the product is targeted toward men who cannot match the energy of their partners, who act for a living.
Swiffer Sleepers
Household chores cut in significantly with the time you could be spending with your children, which is where “Swiffer Sleepers” come in. Amy Poehler stars in this Season 28 bit as a mother who is able to make the kids clean the floor (and elsewhere), and have fun doing it, by rolling around in special pajamas from the makers of the Swiffer Sweeper.
Starbucks Verismo
This ad imagines what might happen if Starbucks developed a home coffee maker that replicates the experience of ordering from one of its locations as authentically as possible. It seems to work a little too well, based on how Vanessa Bayer’s character, Martha, discovers the name “Amorfa” written on her mug and receives tea instead of the latte she wanted.
The Love Toilet
For the most inseparable couples who take pleasure in doing literally everything together, The Love Toilet is just what their bathroom is missing. The massive, dual-bowl porcelain throne even comes with just one flushing plunger so both partners can go together at the same time.
Closet Organizer
Out of the many potential methods to organize your closet, one of the more unlikely is hiring a living person dressed in a blue jumpsuit (played here by Will Forte) to frantically scramble to put away whatever you literally throw at him. This sketch was actually referenced in a later sketch from the same episode where a bar patron (played by host and then Mad Men cast member Jon Hamm) recognizes a stranger as “the Closet Organizer guy.”
Amazon Echo Silver
Because the virtual assistant is a technology still somewhat in its infancy, it is perfectly understandable why older people may have a challenging time adapting to an invention that has only existed for a small chunk of their lifetime. Therefore, the Amazon Echo Silver — a version of the device specifically designed for elders that conveniently answers to names just close enough to “Alexa” — actually sounds like a thoughtful idea.
Alan
In this SNL Season 40 sketch that was originally cut for time, a married couple (played by Taran Killam and Vaness Bayer) is gifted with the “future of casual entertainment”, a human-like dancing robot in a clear box referred to as “The Alan” (host Bill Hader). However, they more learn about this already confusing product, the more difficult it is to be entertained by it.
Mom Celebrity Translator
A device that helps decipher the celebrity your mom is attempting to name is the kind of fake SNL product we imagine a lot of viewers wished was real when the sketch first aired during Season 34. The concept is already hilariously relatable enough, but the mispronounced names featured — such as “Kite Carbinaw” instead of Kim Kardashian or Jake Gyllenhaal wrongly identified as “Joe Geronimo” — make it even better.
Dissing Your Dog
Dale Sturtevant (Will Ferrell) introduces a revolutionary new puppy training program based on the belief that canines are more receptive to sarcasm and put-downs than we might assume and can be conditioned out of certain behaviors that way. If only it was that easy.
Beta Force
At first, this sketch appears to be a faux ad for a testosterone supplement that is refreshingly and brutally honest about its negative psychological effects on middle-aged men. That is until you learn it is actually meant to promote a different supplement called Beta Force, which is designed to counteract those effects and, thankfully, make the user his old self again.
Leave Me Alurn
Rachel Brosnahan stars in this ad for a fake urn of a loved one’s ashes that can help dispel unwanted attention during nature walks. We can only imagine how the writer of this sketch came up with such a dark — but, admittedly, ingenious — idea.
My Little Stepchildren
There are many dolls that are intended to be a fun way for children to imagine being a loving parent. However, this bit that was unfortunately cut for time gives children to live out their fantasy of being a wicked step-parent.
Abilify For Candidates
This ad for a faux medicine called Ability for Candidates first aired in 2015, during the early stages of the 2016 Presidential election. The pill in question is meant to help politicians gain a more realistic perspective on their chances of getting into the White House.
Levi Wokes
Gender-neutral clothes would become common by the time this Season 43 sketch took the concept to a whole new level by introducing Levi Wokes. The revolutionary jeans do not just aim for specific gender conformity but conform to any social identity you could think of by coming in one size and one color, featuring a 180-degree zipper, and selling the pockets separately.
Aerotoilet
When a party host (Moon Knight cast member Oscar Isaac) worries about the number of guests using his bathroom, his wife (Kate McKinnon) tells him they can use their Aerotoilet. The inflatable toilet seems to be a dream come true until it proves to be more high maintenance than a real toilet.
Wilson Trap Doors
Everyone has had a moment at some point in which they wish they could just get rid of someone with the push of a button and Wilson Trap Doors provides that kind of relief. As the faux ad demonstrates, other trap doors can come with numerous design flaws, but this one is guaranteed to put your enemies away for good and without any mishaps.
Glitter Litter Automatic Litter Factory
For anyone who ever wished they could find a use for their cat’s droppings, the Glitter Litter Automatic Litter Factory is just what they have been looking for. This cut-for-time bit imagines a device that immediately converts kitty litter into shiny wearable jewelry.
Come to think of it, some of SNL’s best fake commercials might make for good entrepreneurial ideas.
