The Only Thing Funnier Than Jerry Jones' 'Smiles And Glory Holes' Comment Has Been The Wild Reactions From NFL Fans

If there’s one thing NFL fans love to do, no matter what time of year, it’s rant and rave about anything and anyone involved with the League. Dallas Cowboys owner and recent Landman guest star Jerry Jones has certainly heard and earned his share of armchair-quarterback commentary over the years, and this week’s huge coaching updates could have sparked a time to celebrate, but after Jones dropped a negative-skewing soundbite referring to “smiles and gloryholes,” it was just another day at the races for fans.

A little over a week after former Cowboys quarterback Troy Aikman was cheered on for calling out NFL referees, current owner Jerry Jones was jeered for usurping a press conference meant to put new head coach Brian Schottenheimer in the spotlight, instead of throwing him under metaphorical buses. But it wasn't his backhanded compliments that garnered the most responses, but his rather unique terminology used to describe the state of the franchise.

Before we get all loose and giggly over here, let's go ahead and address the elephant (trunk sticking through a hole in the wall) in the room. Jerry Jones definitely isn't talking about a popular search terms on Pornhub or anything so salacious. The term (which Jones has used before) stems from his former days in the oil field.

The more outdated use of glory holes refers to the opening of a mine or pit with promising yields, while it's currently used more regularly in underwater petroleum as an alternative method of excavation without floating platforms. Regardless of the specific context, the point is that Jerry Jones still thinks of glory holes as a positive on par with a smile, and it's not at all clear if he's aware of what anyone outside mining culture thinks he's talking about.

Which is what made it so fun to watch the floodgates open for a wide array of fan comments, on not just the NFLonFox's official video, but elsewhere on social media. Here are some of the more respectable ringers I came across:

• Add it to the Jerryisms bingo card - @JeffKolbFOX4
• Maybe the real glory holes are the friends we made along the way - @avicardi
• i beg ur finest pardon sir? - @zackvworld
• perfect Bar name 😂 - @DannChesmore
• Man, they keep closing them down around the DFW area 😳🤣😂 - @terrypennington
• I hope the people around Jerry Jones never tell him what "glory hole" actually means - @WVGauntlet
• My buddy told me this at a dive bar outside of Reno once - @iamthejazzygoat
• Jerry jones smiles and glory holes is as good as clear eyes full hearts can’t lose - @DonnRunyan
• That this isn't even the first time Jerry Jones has talked about glory holes at a press conference is wild. - @JoeB_91

Jerry Jones' use of glory holes in TV interviews goes back to at least 2022, but who knows how many times he might have used that phrasing in the years before the internet made clips so sharable?

I'm also amused by the number of commenters who aimed directly at his specific "very low percentage" measurement when it comes to glory holes in the region. If you guessed the classic Jim Carrey quote from Dumb & Dumber was the most repeated, you'd be correct.

• But there is a percentage - @jkfender
• So, not zero... - @THE_ODJ
• So you’re telling me there’s a chance - @skeshr

Perhaps unsurprisingly, the number of people jokingly ribbing Jerry Jones for his word choice was indeed smaller overall than the amount of diehard Cowboys fans just generally taking a social media dump on the press conference, the details behind the coach's hiring, and myriad other specifics that will actually have an effect on the team's 2025-2026 season. But for a few shining moments there, it was a good time for all.

At some point before too much longer, we’re no doubt going to see some kind of large-scale docuseries about the ‘90s Dallas Cowboys, and one can only hope it happens while Jerry Jones is still willing and able to hop on camera and say…all of it, whatever it is.