The Bachelorette’s Gabby Windey Shares How Queer Representation On Another Popular Dating Series Inspired Her Coming Out Journey

Gabby Windey on The View 2023
(Image credit: ABC)

Bachelor Nation’s Gabby Windey, who memorably was one half of The Bachelorette’s recent two-lead season after previously being a contestant on Season 26 of The Bachelor, came out as queer earlier this month and hard-launched her girlfriend on social media. After receiving a ton of positive praise from the public, the reality TV star is opening up more about her experience dating women for the first time, and another dating show was actually highly involved. 

The Bachelor and The Bachelorette fans have seen Gabby Windey go on a lot of dates with men on national television, so how did the former ICU nurse decide to date women? Windey shared her experience to Glamour, saying this: 

Earlier this year I told a friend of mine, who is queer, that something sparked in me when I was watching Perfect Match on Netflix. The show had an openly bi, lesbian storyline with Francesca and Abbey, and it seemed just very genuine. Something inside of me could relate, and I thought, Maybe I need to explore this. I’m 32, and I’ve been through a lot, just like everybody. We all just want to be loved at the end of the day, have a connection, and feel supported. So when I moved back to Los Angeles in March after the Dancing With the Stars tour, I went on a date with a woman I met on the app, Raya. I’d still indicated on my profile that I was interested in men and women, but I wasn’t really looking at the men. Everybody knows me as the Bachelorette and dating multiple men, but I knew if this is something that feels true to me, I had to follow it.

It’s tough to deny the irony of another dating series motivating Windey’s decision to explore her queer identity, leading her to fall in love with stand-up comedian and writer Robby Hoffman. As she said, Netflix’s chaotic dating show Perfect Match actually inspired her to take the leap after seeing Francesca Farago get the opportunity to date a woman, and represent the bisexual community on TV. It goes to show how different types of stories being shown on reality shows can allow someone to feel more seen and actually have real-life implications. (You can currently check out Perfect Match with a Netflix subscription). Windey went on to share her lifetime as a queer woman, continuing with these words: 

There had been signs since my childhood and you kind of just get to the point where you allow the whisper to get louder, basically. I’ve always felt really emotionally connected to my girlfriends, some of which have ended in breakups so emotional, it feels like how you would in a romantic relationship. And there were probably other things that I just suppressed or told myself was nothing. Sometimes before I went to bed at night, out of nowhere, when I was fully straight, or whatever, I would think, What if I was gay? and then I'd be like, Oh, my God, that’s just a crazy thought that I'm having; it’s Freudian.’ But it became louder and louder. It was almost like I was afraid for it to happen for some reason.

Windey also spoke about how during her questioning period, friends would assure her it was “just a phase” along with sharing that her fear about dating women was compounded by growing up in a conservative community in Middle America. The reality TV star also spoke about the challenges involved in being a “baby gay” on the dating scene before finding solace in her girlfriend. Check out Windey and Hoffman together in her announcement: 

Gabby Windey clearly has had a lot of dating experience under her belt, between being the co-runner up on Season 26, starring Clayton Echard, and her time with Rachel Recchia on Season 19 of The Bachelorette which ended in an engagement with Erich Schwer, although the couple later broke it off due to not being “in sync,” via People

After more than two decades of Bachelor Nation, one has to wonder if the franchise should branch out with more contestants from the LGBTQ+ community who can explore dating on the actual show? For the time being, ABC is trying The Golden Bachelor alongside Bachelor in Paradise premiering on the same night. The Golden Bachelor will explore 71-year-old Gerry Turner's journey looking for love in his golden years when it premieres on September 28. 

Sarah El-Mahmoud
Staff Writer

Sarah El-Mahmoud has been with CinemaBlend since 2018 after graduating from Cal State Fullerton with a degree in Journalism. In college, she was the Managing Editor of the award-winning college paper, The Daily Titan, where she specialized in writing/editing long-form features, profiles and arts & entertainment coverage, including her first run-in with movie reporting, with a phone interview with Guillermo del Toro for Best Picture winner, The Shape of Water. Now she's into covering YA television and movies, and plenty of horror. Word webslinger. All her writing should be read in Sarah Connor’s Terminator 2 voice over.